First off, we weren’t going to get this game. I wasn’t totally thrilled with the trailers I’d seen (I thought the graphics looked dated). The wife was thinking between WoW, Lotro, occasionally Warhammer, when would she get a chance to play? And it’s $50.00.
But there we were, in Best Buy, and thinking (Logitech G35 headset already under one arm), “Eh, why not. It’s supposed to be pretty good.”
And I’ve got to say, YOW! It’s really much, much better than I was expecting. The graphics are over the top really, really nice. The fire effects, the armor pieces, the environments, they all look spectacular.
You’ve heard of the Uncanny Valley? You won’t find it on this map. Oh, the old people look a little odd, but for the most part, the people look really very nice and varied. Hardest to make well typically, the Dwarf women looked really nice and pleasant. Generally, the faces are incredibly good looking. If you can imagine what’s “good looking” you can make that face.
Story wise, I’ll admit, we did not finish the game. Not even in the slightest. What we did, the wife and I, was play through several of the opening sequences. Each of the races and class backgrounds, and I’m assuming sex as well, has it’s own storyline. Play a Human and you start out the son of a noble. Play a Dwarf and you can be a noble, or a ruffian. Play a wood elf and you start out harrassing the hapless humans. Play a City Elf and you are on the rough side of town, and the humans are out to make your life a living hell. (Because Humans are punks that way.)
The Human start was normal enough. What you’d expect. That was my first run through. Next I created a forest, i.e. Dalish, elf. Interesting. Very fitting. (I was shocked at how abusive they were to the humans they’d found.) I then created a Dwarf to see things from that angle. I picked the ruffian start and man, this is adult stuff. Your sister is involved in what??? I really liked his dwarven sidekick. Guy with black cornrow braids? Reminded me so much of a Vin Diesel type with his attitude, both in voice, manner, and appearances, and the humor evident in his eyes. Now my wife created a Human Mage and she started out someplace completely different. (And gets hit on by some Templar guy, who would have killed her, not that he’d want to, “But, hey, what are you doing later?”) Then she created a City Elf woman, and the story she went through… Wow. (Her story explains why elves would sooner shoot a Human dead than humor them.) That’s some heavy hardcore stuff. Speaking of which, the feather’s on Morrigan’s shoulder armor look incredible.
But I haven’t mentioned the blood. It’s everywhere. I mean, get the plastic sheeting out, Patrick Bateman’s coming to visit. It’s just over the freaking top. Even arachnids spout blood like some italian fountain and the stuff gets everywhere. Well, everywhere on you, the corpse, and then forms a puddle under the body. (Everything else is, thankfully, still pristine.) The blood is way, way, way over the top.
Now we also haven’t got to the noody caboody parts yet, and the “sex,” so who knows how well done that is. (Tasteful, or like the blood, off the wall and into the realm of teenage boy fantasies.)
There’s some very adult language and situations, and a lot of blood, but, so far, it’s turned out to be well worth the price. We give it two thumbs up.