And it ended with a “Leeeeeroy Jeenkins!”
That was my PUG experience last night.
Msaker had been out mining. He and Droonda had just finished up a handful of quests up in Blade’s Edge. He needed to find just one single Eternium Ore and he’d craft The Planar Edge.
Then in comes a whisper. “Do you want to run Slavepens?” I check my quest log. No Coilfang Quests. However, I had the intro quest, which leads to finding the lost guys quest, and that quest has you finding two of those lost guys in the Slavepens. “Sure.”
It was a 64 Hunter doing the asking. When I join the party I see a 2nd 64 Hunter, and a 62 Warlock. Oh boy. “Guess we need a healer now ” someone says. 10 points for the obvious there.
But I’ve got the shield, and I’m the tank. We’ve got DPS. Yeah, a healer is the last part. And they recruit a level 70 Paladin. Alright! We’re going to do this. I’d been there before. We’d taken out the first guy, and wiped on the 2nd, the crab guy, until we called it. This time would be different.
You know, there are some subtle signs that things aren’t going to go smoothly. Little clues that kind of foretell your destiny ahead of time. That sublime arrangement of tea leaves at the bottom of that teacup, or dried foam on the side of that beerglass, whose words, if you can read the language, spell out for you, in no uncertain terms, your future. Todays reading, brought to you by the Amazing Msaker, was “This is going to go badly.”
Hunter runs ahead and multi-shots the first pack. She’s apparently a Gladiator pvp-ranked member of a guild running Karazhan twice a week. This must be an alt. Who’s never played a hunter in a group before.
The other hunter is no better. And apparently they don’t have their pets on growl. I guess they’d figure I could just swoop in and gain all their aggro and then enough to hold everything on me.
The Paladin did okay. I was kept healed. He joined with a Mogor’s Anointing Mace so I figured he must be Holy spec’d.
The Warlock. I’m sure he did something. Oh, yes. He’d fear adds. In an instance. That’s something. You get to 62 fearing the crap out of things, so why stop?
We kill the 1st boss. The “Spellsword” drops. Looks spiffy. I figure the Warlock or the Paladin will want it. Though both are honest enough to say it’s not an upgrade. Pally even says “I’ve been so wanting that sword for a long time.” So everyone just random’s it. Multi-shot Hunter wins it. “For RPing. Lol.” Moron.
We get to the 2nd boss with just a wipe. And the 2nd boss then proceeds to wipe us again. 2nd try on the 2nd boss I go down again, but this time he’s got 1,000 health left so he drops. Some healing mace drops. It’s actually pretty cool looking. The Mogor’s Anointing Mace is shiney and this thing is glowing, but in a nature way. But it’s not a need for the Pally so it just gets /randomed. I win. It’ll pay for repairs. But, damn, nothing in the place is an upgrade so I’m in here hoping for lucky rolls.
After Rockkor (or whatever the crab guys name is) we get ready to proceed. Multishot brings like eight back and we wipe. “WTF” says the Paladin.
Oh, yeah, the 2nd Hunter has run out of Ammo. We summoned him from Ratchet, but he’s out of ammo. So he’s there dual wielding. And after the wipe, and we’re getting back health. “Ive got2go.” He sits and zones out.
So then the Paladin complains “I can’t ever get a PUG to clear this place.” Pally must be an alt of someone too. Legolas was his name. Or something pretty close to it. Armory says he is a Hybrid, something/something/zero. Taking none of the defining features of Holy or Protection. Enchanter/Tailor. Now he complains? The last boss has Paladin pants on him, go figure, and he’s annoyed that we won’t get there.
I check the watch. It’s 1 a.m.. It’s been 3 hours now. These new instances were supposed to be short. I check the damage taken meter. Oh, yeah, I’m doing my job, with 90% damage taken. Pally comes in 2nd. I tell them “It’s 1 a.m. so I’ve got to go too.”
So the Warlock, I’ll just call him Ignored now, he yells “Leeeeeroy Jeenkins.” Whatever. And then I see a DOT land on a Naga, and six start cruising our way.
Well, that stunt cost me a gold and a half. As I wipe again. My tooltip on my durability meter, watching what 10% damage does to me. A death costs me a gold and a half. Five deaths this run.
BUT, I got level 69, I got the last Eternium Ore I need (until I can get my mitts on a primal nether), and I got some tanking experience.
Signs your run will fail: Your hunter runs forward and multi-shots to pull. Their pets don’t growl. And your Warlock fears adds in crowded rooms.